Mary, My Mother in Heaven

I just finished reading this amazing book.  Written by a protestant, Lutheran to be exact, this book goes in depth about the apparitions of the Blessed Mother in Medjugorje.  He has interviews with the visionaries, describes the small village.  I felt as though I was there, with him, each time he went.  He speaks of his conversion.  He was a lukewarm christian, as per his own description.  I guess we christians all feel that way at times.  I know I'm certainly not perfect.  I pray, all the time, throughout the day, in good times and bad...yet sometimes I feel like I need more.

I call upon Mary, my mother in Heaven.  To guide me in my motherhood and in my wifely vocation.  I call upon her to be my model each and every day.  I pray that she shows me obedience to the Lord, obedience to my faith.

I'm fascinated by the events in Medjugorje.  I watched the Primetime special on the village and the miraculous little village last week.  I felt a tugging in my heart...finally finding what has seemed to be missing.  It was my Mother, speaking to me, leading me to her son!  Gosh, I have so many thoughts I don't know where to begin. 

I've read so many negative comments about the appearance of the Blessed Mother:  the visionaries are acting, it's Satan, the bible doesn't talk about things like this...yet her message is crystal clear. PRAY.  Pray for peace, for the world, for each other, within the world, within our families, within our own hearts.  Pray for conversion.  Catholics, protestant, whatever type of denomination you consider yourself, it just doesn't matter.  She is drawing us closer to Jesus!!

I know so many who do not give Mary a 2nd thought, all because she is not mentioned very much in the Bible.  To me, she is very special.  She is the mother of my Lord, my God.  I know within my own home, with my own children, I am their world.  They love me very much (and I them of course), but my heart would break if others thought I wasn't important enough because maybe there weren't photos of my in our photo albums, or words about me in a journal.  Mothers are very important in their children's lives...mothers are important to the world!  Mary is no exception.  She is my advocate in Heaven, bringing my prayers to her Beloved Son.  She is on my side.

I now pray my Rosary every day, or as much of it as I can.  Most of the time, I can get through a decade or a half of a decade before being interrupted, but, hey, my vocation is motherhood, so I need to take it.  I steal quite moments throughout my day in silent prayer, when doing dishes, folding laundry or making beds.  No-one knows I'm praying, but I am.  Since I picked up my rosary again (it's been a while), I feel an inner peace, a love so strong, unending and unconditional.  A love I pass onto my children.  I've been praying for patience, but that gift was shown to me within the past few days.  Ask anyone in my house, I really haven't yelled.

As for the miracles happening in Medjugorje.  I hope to visit their one day, maybe when the kids are older and we can go together, or maybe alone.  God will let me know when it's my time.  Until then, little miracles are happening here in my house and here in my heart.  It's hard to explain, but I'm sure my family notices...and if not, my Father in Heaven notices.  That's good enough for me :)

May God be with you and keep you!

Uncertainty, Security, Familiarity

Back to the beach we went after dinner tonight.  It was cool, yet the warmth of the sun wrapped around me like a soft, cozy blanket.  It was our reward for a great day, a day of no fighting, yelling, hitting or fits.  A day of children helping, eager to please, eager for their reward.

The water was calm, as was my spirit.  Matt, Anna and Angelina just couldn't wait to get in...but it was so cool!  Allie finally mustered enough courage to join the others, as they splashed, dove and swam in the big ocean.  I brought my camera and took roughly 40 pictures.  The battery continued to exhaust, but I did the best I could.  Some of my favorites are Alaina in mid-air, me, Krista and Alaina and Krista mid-air.   Unfortunately, I had no battery life when the other guys came out of the water.

It was getting late, Bob had to go to the store to get stuff for work and people were setting up a sort of obstacle course.  Turns out, they have kids

races every Thursday.  Something else to do, along with the fireworks. 

We pulled up to the house, and to my surprise, there was my little baby, soon to be big boy, sitting on the grass.  He never liked the grass, always lifting his precious little toes whenever I stood him up in the grass.  He was uncertain as to what it was, how it felt, what it was going to do to him.  So, to see him sitting there, then getting on his hands and knees, starting to make his way towards me, made me proud.  He was apprehensive at first, taking it slow, inching towards me.  As he was about 2 feet away, he broke into a spring, squeeling in delight!  He was confident that he was safe.  He had faith that if anything were to happen, I was right there to guide him, help him, save him.

To have faith like that is amazing.  That's what God wants from me...to have faith like my little baby, and my young children.  To not question whether or not He will be there when I need Him, to not doubt that He will be right there to help me when I fall.  In uncertain times, unsure of what the future holds, He is there, telling me it's ok. I can trust Him as my baby trusts me. 

When I am familiar with my surroundings, when everything is going well, I praise Him, giving thanks for everything.  I love my Lord and my God.  I want to make Him happy, I want Him to be pleased with all I do, and I want all I do to be for Him.  After all, He made the greatest sacrifice, a sacrifice that I would make for any of my children, He died for me.

So, seeing my son sitting on the grass, chasing bubbles, playing with the girls, my heart is full of joy, seeing the children He created, children that I gave birth to, that are part of me and my husband, children that I am leading to my Father.  I pray that I'm doing what I am called to do.  I pray to have the faith that my children have.  I learn from them every day, and for that I am thankful. 

Fun in the Sand

After dinner, as we usually do, we loaded up into the truck and headed out to the beach.  It's the perfect time to go...and it's either Bob or I taking the bigger kids while the other stays home with the baby.  I took the kids last night, but it was a southeast wind and they couldn't go in the water...and I didn't even think at the time to bring a kite.  Eh, hindsight is 20/20.

So, we had dinner, cleaned up and headed to the beach.   The 3 bigger kids just got in the water, Krista was hanging out by the stuff on the beach (terrified to even put her feet in), and Allie and Alaina were playing by the waters edge.  We got a phone call...David, my brother in law, was being rushed to the hospital...he was having a heart attack.  I hung up the phone, called the kids over, told them what's going on and there we stood, in a circle, saying our own little prayers for Uncle David.  When we got home we found out he's ok, and they got him to the hospital just in time.

Anyway, we're at the beach, and Krista decides to come to the waters edge..slowly and cautiously.  She grabs a hold of my hand.  She feels safe and secure near me, holding on for dear life as the water creeps up towards our feet.  Her uncertainty fades as quick as the water recedes...she wants more!  It makes me so happy that she forgetting her fear.  She sees the bigger three just pouncing and jumping and diving, frolicking in the waves.  She sees Allie and Alaina exploring the water's edge, getting braver and going out a litter further, yet still looking back to make sure their safety net, me, is still there.

It's a peaceful, carefree time for all of us...they are all getting along, I have some time with my thoughts.  There is no yelling, no hitting, a time I can enjoy my children together, and individually at the same time.  A time I can really cherish and appreciate all that they have to offer the world, and each other.  There is no responsibility, no cares, nothing but fun!!  If only every minute could be like this.

Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog.  I hope you find this to be a place of peace, comfort and love.  A place where you know you are not alone in your struggles...a place of affirmation.  A little about me...My name is Barb, I'm a sahm (stay at home mom) to 7 great kids.  Matt will be 12 in August...he loves having "lemonade stands", hanging with his friends and playing games on the computer.  Angelina is 11.  She plays Clarinet in the school band.  She goes into middle school in September and is taking part in summer band, where she teaches a new musician how to play.  Anna is 10.  She loves to swim, I just can't keep her out of the water.  Allie is 9.  She has a non-curable, rare, chronic kidney disease.  She is finally in remission!!  Praise God.  Alaina is going to be 8 in October.  She is a bundle of energy that loves to ride her bike.  She also loves to swim.  Krista, soon to be 5, is my little firecracker.  She is helpful, full of love, life and compliments.  Several times a day she comes up to me and says "Mommy, I love you, you're so beautiful!". Last, but certainly not least, is my baby Mark, who will be 1 in August.  He is crawling all over the place (no more belly scootching!!).  He babbles, shakes his head yes, gives high fives and just loves to laugh.  He is so happy!!

We are a devout Catholic family, striving to live as Jesus did.  I lean on my Mother Mary for guidance and intercession in my role as wife and mother.  My faith is what keeps me going, what gives me strength, hope and most of all love.  "I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me."

Along with taking care of my family, I also love to sew, knit and read.  I look forward to bedtime, when the house is quiet, and everyone is snuggly tucked into their beds.  I need this time to rejuvenate, to go over the day, to examine my conscience. 

And then it starts all over again.....