Warm and Fuzzy Inside

My prayers were answered.  I had big plans for this lent, but apparently, God had other plans for me.  I tried to find soup kitchens locally to volunteer at, but I kept hitting dead ends.  There really wasn't anything that I could find really local for the kids and I...so I took to prayer.

God kept putting a certain dear friend on my heart, constantly, so I knew, she was the one.  She is going through a rough time right now, and to know that tonight, my children and I brought her and her mom joy, well, is beyond words.

I'm going to bed all warm and fuzzy inside.  I'm not going to talk about what we did or didn't do, but I will say this...when we do for others out of the goodness of our hearts, our love of God shines through brighter than ever and we are blessed beyond measure.  The joy just carried me through the evening like a hot air balloon through the sky.

The kids took part in something bigger than themselves, brought joy to someone who needed a smile, who needed to know that we care.  They know what it's like to be selfless.

For that lesson I am thankful.  It was a small random act that hopefully brought some happiness, hope and love to a dear friend and her mom.

I just remember, it's what we do in private that matters most to God....not like the hypocrites, who make a big show out of what they do (or did).  What goes on within the "quiet room" that matters!

My Lenten Plans

Lent is upon us, once again.  I've been preparing for some time, thinking about and praying about what to do...because giving something up just missing the point, to some extent.  Sure, I can give up chocolate or cake, I like chocolate and cake, but I don't LOVE chocolate and cake.  Giving it up wouldn't really mean anything to me.  Same for the kids...we need to do something instead of just giving up treats.  They are at an age where they need to understand that Lent goes deeper than that.

We need to draw closer to God...be a steward!  We hear kindness, love, compassion, love, oh, did I mention LOVE being preached every Sunday.  That was the basis of Jesus' teachings.  Hate the sin, LOVE the sinner.  LOVE one another as I have LOVED you.  Faith, hope and LOVE, but the greatest of these is LOVE.

It's so important so show our love of God to one another.  So, I decided that the kids and I would volunteer somewhere, perhaps a soup kitchen.  We were going to volunteer at a kitty rescue, but it fell through.  They don't allow children to volunteer because of liability issues.  I haven't told them that, because it would break their little hearts.

So, after much prayer, I decided what were are going to do.  I'm going to see if we can "adopt" an elderly parishioner of our church, or someone in our community.  We'll make dinner for said person every night, visit, do anything we can to brighten their lives.  There are so many who are forgotten, lonely, sad, etc.  If my kids and I can make a difference in one person's life this lenten season, than it's all worth it!

And this is not something that is only for lent, either.  It's just a good time to start forming new relationships, taking care of others, showing Gods LOVE to others, through us.  I want us to be His vessels.  I love God so much, and I hope that other's see God's love in me. 

After all, we are all His beloved!

Hope

I know it's been so long since I've blogged.  It's been so crazy hectic here lately, but my priorities have definitely changed.  Christmas was great, but I am still on the med after getting really sick the day after Christmas. 

As for priorities, I'm not online that much anymore.  I spend more time in prayer, and I try to go to mass daily if I can.  By strengthening my faith and putting God first, good things are happening.

A dear friend of mine and I get together every Friday to pray the rosary together.  It was great, but I found myself needing to pray more!  So I would pray my rosary every day.  Then Anna had a family gathering for CCD about 3 weeks ago.  We made rosaries.  It was that night, we turned out all the lights (except for the room we were in), turned off the tv and computers and prayed the rosary together as a family!  We pray everynight together.  It's been an amazing experience!

By getting closer to Mary, I'm getting closer to Jesus, therefore getting closer to my Heavenly Father.  I ask her to help me be a better wife and mother.  I ask her to help me get through my daily tasks, with a happy heart.  But now that we are praying together as a family, there is more peace in my home.  Of course, during prayer time, Satan is trying to ruin things, to get me to give it all up.  It will not happen.  The kids love to lead our prayers and they argue over who will lead, who will pray this prayer or that prayer.  Makes me smile.

Our Lady is leading my family to holiness.  During a sermon a couple of weeks ago, Fr Paul asked the congregation, "If you were on the stand being convicted of being a Christian, would you be convicted?"  Really makes you think.  It's what we do in private that matters.  I'm as involved as I can be in my church, it's in the home wherein the struggle lies.  But praying as a family is helping with that.

I was getting worried about our future, our spiritual future as a family.  I'm doing all I can individually, but it didn't seem as though it was enough.  I prayed and prayed, but realized there would be more power to my prayers if we were all together praying!  "Where two or more gather in my name, I am there amongst them." 

Anyway, there is hope for the future, for me, for my family.  For that, I thank Mary, my mother.  I know people who give Mary no second thought, because there is not much written about her in the bible, but I believe Jesus is God, therefore she is the Mother of God...mighty important in my book! 

The Love Dare....Intro, Days 1 & 2

I'm not sure if anyone remembers the movie "Fireproof" with Kirk Cameron.  It was a heart wrenching movie and I highly recommend it (as a matter of fact, I do have a copy if anyone wants to borrow it).  In the movie, the character is having trouble in his marriage.  His dad gives him a book, The Love Dare.  He reads this book and completes each dare, to make his marriage better, stronger, and to also deepen his relationsip with God.   I won't give away the ending, so with that said, my dear friend lent me her copy of "The Love Dare" workbook.

I read the introduction and read for Day 1.  It took all that I had not to read ahead and skim the entire book.  I plan on taking it day by day.  Because the book is not mine to write in, I'm going to blog about it, taking notes on what I've learned, what I've done and the results I see.  I'm also putting a twist on this, because it's more geared towards husbands and wives.  My husband and I have a pretty solid relationship and marriage.  Things are really good (but hey, who can't use some improvement).   So, I thought long and hard, and prayed and decided to go along with these dares in the book, extending them not only to my husband, but to my children as well.  Days 1 & 2 worked out well.

Day one:  Patience.

"Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it  naturally.  But wise men and women will persue it as an essential ingredient to their marriage relationships.  That's a good starting point to demonstrate true love." 

Isn't that the truth?  Patience is very hard and I pray for it several times a day every single day.  I have amazing patience with the husband, the kids, not so much.  Here is the million dollar question:

How did I demonstrate patience?  When something spilled all over the floor, I asked for help in cleaning it up instead of raising my voice saying "Come on really??"  I spoke in a calm manner, I didn't stomp around when frustrated or angry.  I kept my anger and frustration contained, so it couldn't be seen by the children.

What result did I see?  Peacefullness in the house.  There was little to no fighting between the kids.  Everyone was calmer and more patient with each other.

Day 2:  Kindness

"Kindess has 4 basic core ingredients:  Gentleness, Helpfulness, Willingness and Initiative....You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness."

You know the saying "You hurt the ones you love the most".  So true, yet so sad.   You see, I have no problem being kind and helpful to others, but sometimes, when things are so chaotic and everything is going wrong at home, the kindness goes out the window.  There is that saying "Charity begins at home".  Another so true.  A good tree will produce good fruit.  I am the tree, my children are the fruit.  My goal is to yield good fruit that will yield more good fruit and so on.

How was I kind?  It was tough, but again, along with the patience, I didn't raise my voice, I spoke with enthusiasm, I gave extra hugs and kisses.  I brought in the patience from the day before and the kindness just followed.

What was the result?  Again, another day with much peace, love and kindness extending to other members of the family.  The kids got along, they played nicely and hardly fought (only 1 incident)!!   I noticed them doing sweet little kind things for one another all day long. 

So far so good!!  This Love Dare is great.  I'm learning some great new things and I'm being held accountable for my actions.  I made a promise to myself and to God that I was going to change me, change how I react to situations, change how I think about things, change the dynamic of my family, all my changing myself.  I want a deeper relationship with Christ, and with His Holy Mother.  I know, with their help, The Love Dare will be a success and the lessons will be something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Hurricane Approaching Us This Weekend

Hurricane Irene is on the prowl.  We are in her path and I'm scared out of my mind.  Now I know how my mom felt back in the 80's when Hurricane Gloria hit.  We will most likely evacuate, leaving Saturday morning before all the mayhem.  The kids are already packed and truly frightened as well.

They asked me tonight if I was scared.  I looked at their precious faces and told them "more than you'll ever know."  "Mom, you don't look scared."  "Well, guys, if I showed you how scared I was, well, you'd be all petrified.  It's my job to be strong for you all, to protect you, not only your physical selves but your spirit as well."

As a parent, I really want to protect my children, body, soul, spirit and mind.  I do my best, but sometimes, especially at times like this when everywhere you turn, there is talk of impending doom.  On tv tonight, our choices are hurricane watch or 9/11 shows already.  I just pray and ask for guidance on how to calm their little nerves.  They really worry about things they shouldn't be worrying about (where are we going to go? What if there is no electricity, how are we going to cook?  What about our goldfish?)

All in all, I know we are going to be ok. I  have faith that God will protect us and be with us.  Whatever happens to us will be a part of His plan for us, and we just need to trust in Him.  It will be ok.

So, my friends, especially those of you on the East Coast, stay safe this weekend.  I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers, and ask you do the same for me and my family.  Hugs!!

Show Me What You See

During the school year, I meet with a wonderful, faithfilled group of ladies for a bible study and faith sharing group.  I've formed friendships that will definitely last a lifetime.  Over the course of the summer, we've met twice to discuss a book.  One friend was saying how when she's having a rough day with her kids, husband, or friends, she asks God "Show me what you see".  It really made me think, because you know how the saying goes, we hurt the ones we love the most.  So, I pray each morning for God to "show me what he sees" in my children and my husband, and here are my answers.

This is Matt, my almost 12 year old son.  I was shown great love for this child.  A child unsure of who he really is, struggling to fit in amongst his peers.  A child growing into a young man.  A young man aware of how his body is changing.  This is a child with a HUGE heart and love for his family, but has a hard time showing it.  This is a child who yearns to do the right thing, but do to peer pressure ends up making stupid decisions.  As a consequence to those stupid decisions, he does do the right thing.  He wants to please his parents and please God.  He has great faith.

This is Angelina, Nina for short.  She is my 11 year old daughter.  God showed me a child also struggling with fitting in with her peers.  Always wanting to please those around her, she holds everything in until she explodes.  She is afraid of entering a new phase in life, growing into a young lady and entering middle school, meeting new kids.  She struggles to make friends.  So many around her make poor decisions, so she has decided to distance herself from others.  She excels in school, putting so much pressure on herself to be perfect (the need to please!).  She needs her time with her mama, to grow in patience, love and confidence.  She has great faith also!

This is Anna, my 10yr old daughter.  God showed me a child struggling to find her place in this world, struggling to find her identity in a mind swirling out of control.  She is eager to please, yet eager to be independent.  She has faith but is not sure how to use what she learns.  She cares deeply for others, caring about others well being.  She is a helpful child, a loving child, a hurting child.  She is having some issues we need to get help with, but insurance issues are preventing us from doing so right now, so my hands are tied.  She is God's child just as much as she is mine.

This is Allie, my 9yr old daughter.  She is full of life, peace and laughter.  While she is not so eager to help mom out, she is eager to please and is very helpful of others.  She is struggling with an uncertain future, unsure of her health.  She is on a strict medicine regime to keep her kidneys functioning.  She is a trooper, a fighter.  She loves others as well as life.  She is very giving, loving, caring and joyful.  She has a peace about her that I struggle to find at times. 

This is Alaina, my soon to be 8yr old.  God showed me a child who is going through many changes.  She suffered a few losses in her short life of those she loved.  She is a strong willed, happy girl.  She loves to play, loves her family, loves life and friends.  She has great faith in Jesus, and is eager to learn everything she can.  She is very helpful and wants to please those around her.  She has high expectations of herself and is easily frustrating in certain situations.  She is a child that needs a lot of hugs and I Love You's.  I'm happy to give them to her.

This is Krista, my almost 5 yr old spitfire.  She is very close to her mama.  She is very cautious out in public and around new people.  It takes a little while to gain her trust.  She likes to try new things, yet is very cautious when doing so.  She likes to feel safe.  She is trying to find her niche amongst her siblings.  She also tries to please everyone.  She likes it to be peaceful and quiet, and not so chaotic in the house.  She loves her mama, daddy and Jesus.  She loves to go to church and sing songs of praise to God, while looking in my eyes.  It's a great moment between us.

Here is little Mark, my 1yr old boy.  God didn't have to show me much here.  All he knows is there are so many that love and care for him.  He loves to smile and dance and just LOVES being sung to.  He is truly God's gift.

Last but not least, my husband of 12.5yrs Bob.  God revealed alot about him, things I fail to think about.  Here is a man who supports and takes care of his family.  We are his top priority.  He struggles with an uncertain future, worries about the economy and the state of our country.  He worries about continuing to provide.  God showed me a man who, when he had no work, felt like a failure in some ways.  This is a man who needs to know he is loved, wanted, needed and appreciated.  He is a man who is full of faith and love for God that is beyond measure, and that he's passing onto his children, along with me.  He is a man who does things differently than everyone else, but in the end, his biggest success is his family.

So here you can see, I have a wonderful family with so many different struggles, attributes, character traits, etc.  I am truly blessed and wonder often what I did to deserve such a great family.  The answer to that is simple, it was God's gift, free of charge, just as His grace is a free gift to us.  I thank Him each and every day for all that I have in my family. 

Come and Follow Me

When Jesus was first starting His ministry, first calling on His disciples, he came upon some fishermen.  He said "Come and follow me.  I will make you fishers of men."   It took me a little while to understand what Jesus meant.  By being a follower of Jesus, living how He wants me to live, having my actions being pleasing to Him, well, I get it.  My best friend once told me a while ago, that I was her inspiration.  I was everything she wanted to be in living a faith filled life.  She wanted my belief, my faith.  I was very humbled when she told me this...I'm just an ordinary person, with not so ordinary circumstances.

There are many things that affect my faith and I am at a different place than I was 5 years ago.  I've learned to surrender all to God,  to lean on Him in my darkest times, and to rejoice in Him when things are great.  I've had many life experiences that have taught me many lessons.  Like I mentioned in my last post, there are so many uncertainties, the only certain, concrete in life is God's love.

So, how did I become a "fisher of men"?  I live according to the gospel, yet I know I'm human.  I do not think I'm a saint, and am humbled when I am called that by strangers.  I attend mass every weekend, and every day if I can.  I seek and find a place for God in my life, in every aspect of my life.  I love God with my whole being.  And it shows.  Having my best friend tell me I am her inspiration confirmed that for me. 

I do pray every day for a renewed spirit, for strength to get through each situation as it passes, and I pray especially for the grace to tackle the hard moments with peace and love.  I pray the same for my children.  My goal is to raise Saints, although having a priest, sister or doctor would be nice too ;) 

My children and I have enjoyed fishing the past few days...Here are some pictures of what we caught.  Today, we all caught at least one fish, bringing home a grand total of 16 for Pop Pop to use as bait when he goes out on the boat.  I'm thankful that my life doesn't depend on fishing...I can't stand the smell, so I don't eat them LOL.  Enjoy!